"Firm, Peaty Soil" [HOUN]

The Hound of the Baskervilles is probably one of the most widely read and well-known of all of the Sherlock Holmes stories. Of all 56 short stories and four novellas, it has the unique position of being a mystery that happens to have Sherlock Holmes in it, rather than being a Sherlock Holmes tale - due to the fact that Holmes doesn't appear as frequently as he does in other stories.

While it can be argued that the main characters are Dr. Watson, Sir Henry and even the Stapletons to a certain extent, there is another major player in The Hound of the Baskervilles that bears some thought: Grimpen Mire, a deadly part of Dartmoor, which claimed life on a regular basis:

Stapleton laughed. "That is the great Grimpen Mire," said he. "A false step yonder means death to man or beast. Only yesterday I saw one of the moor ponies wander into it. He never came out. I saw his head for quite a long time craning out of the bog-hole, but it sucked him down at last. Even in dry seasons it is a danger to cross it, but after these autumn rains it is an awful place. And yet I can find my way to the very heart of it and return alive. - The Hound of the Baskervilles

This is not just fiction for the sake of good storytelling, though. A recent article from Wired notes that there's lots of life in the "bogosphere," as they investigate some of the strangest things pulled out of bogs. These include nearly 300 kegs of butter, weapons and yes, bodies. Evidently, the chemical and biological composition of the peat in the bogs acts as a natural preservative.

If you're into this kind of thing, you can also check out the exhibition The Mysterious Bog People.

For peat's sake!

What are those four-letter abbreviations in the headlines?

"Somewhere in the Vaults..." [THOR]

For students of the Sherlock Holmes Canon, the opening to "The Problem of Thor Bridge" offers a tantalizing glimpse into some of the unwritten cases of the great detective, of which Dr. Watson had notes, but didn't write for publication. The opening runs:

Somewhere in the vaults of the bank of Cox and Co., at Charing Cross, there is a travel-worn and battered tin despatch-box with my name, John H. Watson, M.D., Late Indian Army, painted upon the lid. It is crammed with papers, nearly all of which are records of cases to illustrate the curious problems which Mr. Sherlock Holmes had at various times to examine. Some, and not the least interesting, were complete failures, and as such will hardly bear narrating, since no final explanation is forthcoming. A problem without a solution may interest the student, but can hardly fail to annoy the casual reader. Among these unfinished tales is that of Mr. James Phillimore, who, stepping back into his own house to get his umbrella, was never more seen in this world. No less remarkable is that of the cutter Alicia, which sailed one spring morning into a small patch of mist from which she never again emerged, nor was anything further ever heard of herself and her crew. A third case worthy of note is that of Isadora Persano, the well-known journalist and duellist, who was found stark staring mad with a matchbox in front of him which contained a remarkable worm, said to be unknown to science. Apart from these unfathomed cases, there are some which involve the secrets of private families to an extent which would mean consternation in many exalted quarters if it were thought possible that they might find their way into print.

As you can imagine, such fantastical references (and others peppered throughout the Canon) have inspired a number of dramatizations, pastiches and take-offs that have been quite popular in their own right.

My friend and fellow Irregular John Baesch, BSI ("Cardinal Tosca") shared with me a couple of poems that he read at a recent gathering called A Scintillation of Scions II put on by Watson's Tin Box in Maryland. Both are related to that long sought-after box, which features prominently in the opening of Billy Wilder's The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes.

One was written in 1946 by Jay Finlay Christ, BSI ("The Final Problem") an early member of the Baker Street Irregulars:

THE OLD TIN BOX

In the vaults of Cox was an old tin box

With Watson's name on its lid.

What wouldn't we pay for that box today

And the secret notes there hid?

Old Russian dame, Ricoletti the lame.

The famous aluminum crutch;

For Alicia, the cutter, the parsley in butter,

What would you give for such?

Story of Randall, the Darlington scandal,

The coptic patriarchs.

The opal tiara, the Addleton barrow --

Dollars? or francs? or marks?

The tale of the pinch of Victor Lynch,

The furniture warehouse mob,

The case at the Hague, the murder at Prague

The powderless Margate job.

The giant rat, the cardinal's hat,

The Patersons (first name Grice),

The cormorant's bill, the Hammorford will --

We'd take 'em at any price.

The Phillimore fella who sought an umbrella,

The steamer Friesland (Dutch);

For Col. Carruthers or Atkinson brothers

One never could give too much.

The Vatican case and its cameo face,

The slithering, unknown worm,

The Abergavenny were none too many --

Where is this Cox's firm?

Oh, wonderful box in the vaults of Cox!

You come with a touch of salt!

But I offer two blocks of the choicest stocks

For the treasure of Cox's vault.

The other was penned in 1981 by Jim Duval, BSI ("The Battered Tin Dispatch Box"), whom I knew personally:

AT CHARING CROSS

There at Charing Cross once stood grand old Cox

With its bright brass plate 'Army Agents'.

In strong vaults hard locked laid a dispatch box

Filled with cases long been aging.

The repulsive red leech, Major Prendergast the cheat,

The watch prematurely wound;

Of Crosby, the banker, Sophy Anderson and who sank her,

Not a locksmith to be found?

Baron Dowson the critic, the coiner who filled it,

Aldridge's bogus laundry bill,

The death of young Perkins, Vamberry the wine merchant --

Hammers? and Bars? and Drills?

The Majestic bow sweep of Charlie Peace,

The Conk-Singleton forgery case,

Mr. Hobb's affair, Bert Stevens' death lair,

John V. Harden's tobacco -- laced?

The captain who yawned, Merridew who's gone,

This Vanderbuild (Yeggman and all),

The arrest of Huret, Wilson the bird puriest --

Try dynamite on that wall!

Mr. Dundas' meal stoppers in hurling his choppers,

Old Abe's mortal terror plea;

Of the Paradol Chamber or the Tarletton murders

Can no one find the key?

The Harley Street physician and his dramatic admission

The Bishopgate jewel hoard,

The Arnsworth Castle business was none too pleasant --

Call Cox's Chairman of the Board!

This military band with the look of swank

Is the guardian of the box.

But I need a kid who can crack a crib

Say, the vaults at Charing Cross.

What are those four-letter abbreviations in the headlines?

"The Two Hard-Boiled Eggs" [THOR]

This has to be one of the funniest interpretations of a Sherlock Holmes story I've seen in a while. Fellow Irregular Tom Francis ("The Imperial Opera at Warsaw") passed along the link to the new Valley of Fear, classified as a hard-boiled novel:

YEARS AGO, A P.I. OUT OF CHICAGO BROUGHT JUSTICE TO A DIRTY TOWN.

NOW HE’S GOING TO PAY.

A sawed-off shotgun blast to the face leaves one man dead—and reveals a secret that has pursued another across an ocean and set the world’s most ruthless criminal on his trail. The man needs the help of a great detective...but could even Sherlock Holmes save him now?

• The legendary classic re-presented, Hard Case Crime style
• Edgar Award winner Leslie Klinger on THE VALLEY OF FEAR: "The first real hardboiled detective story." [our own Leslie Klinger, BSI ("The Abbey Grange") -ed.]
• By the best-selling author of THE LOST WORLD
• Inspired by a true story!

While the original story does have some seedy and lurid details (at least compared to other Holmes stories and for the early 1900s, when it was written), I can't say I've ever considered it "hard-boiled" before. To paraphrase an email exchange on the topic (the author will remain anonymous, unless he wants to "out" himself):

"LOL - 'they all answered to the BODYMASTER!' Good to know A.C. Doyle's career is off to a good start. What's next? 'My shag is good...'"

I wonder what other classic Holmes tales could be creatively classified in different genres, with a humorous twist?

What are those four-letter abbreviations in the headlines?

"Was He the Gay Lothario One Would Expect?" [RETI]

Recently, there has been a lot of noise around the forthcoming film, "Sherlock Holmes," due out in December and starring Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law as Holmes and Watson, respectively. The trailer is of high quality and hints at the level of action to be expected in the film.

Recent posters of the the four major principle characters - Holmes, Watson, Irene Adler, and the villainous Blackwood - have made their appearance. See the embedded slideshow below for the handsome renderings of our heroes.


So far, so good. And while Downey doesn't necessarily match up with many Sherlockians' perception of the ideal Holmes impersonator, and the explosions seem a little to James Bond-like for some, the notion that the great detective is getting a major Hollywood treatment has been satisfying. But the latest news is the most shocking yet.

News outlets have been reporting that the director of the film, Guy Ritchie, plans to put a gay spin on the relationship between Holmes and Watson. See New Sherlock Holmes Film to Explore Homoerotic Relationship Between Lead Characters for more. The noted film critic Michael Medved chimed in and suggested that it's just a publicity ploy at the moment.

Astute Sherlockians will realize that this was hinted at previously in Billy Wilder's The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes. Whether or not it will be willingly accepted this time around - by moviegoers and Holmes fans like - remains to be seen.

Assuming, of course, that the news reports are valid. As Holmes himself said, "The Press, Watson, is a most valuable institution if you only know how to use it." [SIXN]

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What are those four-letter abbreviations in the headlines?